A bit about me
My own story
My passion for working with people as a therapist and certified coach comes from my journey to get to where I am now.
As a child I was often told that I was too sensitive, that I took things to heart. I was offered the ‘advice’ that perhaps if I toughen up things would be better.
Indeed, I did seem to feel more deeply than other people and my emotions were at times in 4D! They would became so loud and heavy that they overwhelmed me. More on this later…
I have always been a people-person. Even as a child I was drawn to connecting and being with others. However, how other people were feeling, their emotions or the mood they were in had a big impact on me. When I spent time on my own it meant that I could escape in to my vivid imagination. My true sense of ease and calm would come from spending time with animals. They made sense and I felt attunement to them.
By the time I got to my late childhood and throughout my teen years, the environment that I found myself in did not support, encourage nor understand a sensitive or emotionally expressive nature. Shame and conditioning lead me to believe that I was ‘too much’ and I had to change my true Self in order to be accepted and fit in. So I squashed down, ignored and dismissed my emotions. I quietened my voice and made myself smaller.
A pattern emerged of trying to fit in and be accepted. To play down and ignore my emotions. Pushing down how I really felt and shrinking so as to not show my true Self.
I became a chameleon, fitting in and blending with my environment.
And that worked for a while. But a cycle start to show up.
When I was coping, maintaining a balance, I was productive, sociable and functioning well to the outside world. It looked like I had my act together; outgoing and confident. And I guess that is what it was, an act.
Gradually my inner world would start to decline and I’d be on a downward trajectory. Not used to showing how I felt or asking for my own needs to be met, I would still try to maintain my stoic outer shell and carry on. But inside I felt far from okay.
pretending to be someone other than my Self, denying how I felt, left me feeling alone and disconnected.
People around me didn’t seem to get the inner struggle I had or the weight of my emotions that I felt. They didn’t seem to feel things as intently as I did. Or they were better at coping!
As the years passed, it was a roller-coaster of highs and lows and I kept going, pushing forward and keeping my head above the water.
Then I hit the final bump in the road. Asking myself, ‘why! Why do I struggle so much and why does everything HURT so much’!
On that stark day, I decided that once and for all, I wanted to find the answer.
And I felt that the answer wasn’t all the stuff I had already tried.
And nobody else was going to do it for me.
It turns out that underneath all my challenges, there were two root causes.
Firstly I discovered that I was struggling with the symptoms of undiagnosed complex PTSD. The other was that I was a Highly Sensitive Person. Both these things meant I became overstimulated and overwhelmed much more quickly than other people.
My window of tolerance was smaller. My Highly Sensitive nature meant I did indeed feel things more deeply. I process information more deeply than 80% of the population. So no wonder other people didn’t always understand!
I had high levels of empathy, which lead me at times to feel what others felt. Taking on their feelings as my own. I wasn’t sure at times where I ended and they began (my emotional and energetic boundaries needed some work!). My heart-led nature and focus on other people meant that I wanted to help and do what I could to ‘fix it’ for them. I unconsciously took on the responsibility (and at times their burden) of making things better.
I also had a low tolerance for stress and distress. And hadn’t developed the coping mechanisms or resilience tools to help me navigate through the weight of all I was carrying. I wasn’t looking after my own needs, boundaries or self care and my mental health and wellbeing took a steady decline until I burnt out.
The key thing that lead to where I am today was that I made the choice to make a change.
And the painful realisation that I was the only one that could take responsibility for that and make it happen.
Today I share with others what
I wish I had known years ago.
My style
Blending of what may seem on the surface as two very different perspectives.
Incorporating techniques from the latest neuroscience research, psychology, and attachment research, along with years of training in certified mind-body modalities, I mixed them with years of learnings from ancient wisdoms which allow you to tune into your heart, your gut instinct and deeper inner knowing and intuition.
I have found by bringing in these two powerful approaches has led to impactful and transformational changes for those who I have worked with, as well as for myself.
I will help you in 3 ways:
You will have a clear understanding and map out of the patterns & challenges you have been facing
I will use a tried and tested framework so you can have the shift you need to have better emotional and mental health
I will walk beside you, offering you support, encouragement & compassion as you implement the new skills you have learnt so you get lasting change
my qualifications
I am a therapist and certified diploma coach holding qualifications as an Advanced Integral Eye Movement Practitioner, Master mBit (Multiple Brain Integration) Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, Mental Health First Aider with further training in Positive Psychology, trauma, and resilience.
I keep up to date with on-going training and CPD (Continual Professional Development) in relevant areas to my work.
My background in veterinary medicine means I place a high value on research and evidence-based information in my work. If mentoring is part of our agreement, I strive to deliver information in bite-size chunks in an easy to use way.
I am a member of the Association of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, The Association IEMT Practitioners and the Coaching Association. I adhere to the code of conduct of all organisations.
I promote a ethical practices and place a high value on providing a professional, quality service.
What are some of the methods I use?
Using mBIT (multiple Brain Integration Techniques) coaching roadmap you can start to reconnect with the parts of yourself that may have become disconnected from. When you re-integrate with your full neural-network, your intuition, heart, creativity and deeper self will bring coherent change and calm to you.
Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) which is a developing area of rapid therapeutic change work that explores the area of undesired emotions and our ways of being. The process explores the question, "How did we learn to feel the way that we do?" and opens up the possibility of creating the appropriate change in our emotional lives. A combination of eye movements and behavioural change models are reported to have great effect in helping people see change where other approaches have not helped.
EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique is a new development in Energy Psychology over the last 25 years with impressive academic research to backup effectiveness and transformational change in treating psychological and physiological challenges. It works through the energy system using the Meridian Energy Flow points (which are also used in acupuncture) to tap into different parts of the brain. When our emotions are not processed or metabolised in real time, they have to go somewhere and become trapped, stored and held within our Energy Meridians Systems. When we tap on the Meridian points we are allowing the energy of stored emotions to be released. As we tap, along with a guided process to reverse the phycological programming, the energy is rebalanced and resolved. After the process, clients report feeling calmer, have clarity around the issue, and a positive shift in how they feel towards the issue with a reduced distress.
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), which has been referred to as the user manual of the brain, we have access to powerful resources which allows us to rewire old programs that once served us but are no longer helpful in the place we are at in life now. NLP is a dynamic, tried and tested model for change and future-focused solutions.
Polyvagal Theory gives us the neuro-science behind emotional regulation and social connection. By having an understanding of how our nervous system works, you can start to take back control in soothing and regulating your emotions and reactions.