Letting go is a skill… which can be learnt
'Chin up' or 'Just let it go' can be words that easily slip out from well-meaning people who are around you when you're stuck in an emotion. It may well be their go-to strategy of how to handle your distress if they are at loss of what to say or how to help you.
Whilst the person is likely well meaning, it is rarely welcomed advice by the recipient, who inside may be left thinking 'if only it was that easy'. You can feel consumed with repeating thoughts whilst stuck in the emotion.
It always seems to be the upsetting ones we get stuck in! It is a sad fact that it is often the negative things we are left dwelling on and not the happy thoughts or dwelling on how well something went
Shame can also be added to the mix with thoughts of 'why can't I just let it go and move on?'
If you've found yourself in this pattern I'd like to offer that you are not alone.
It is not unusual when something feels like a loss or threat to us that the thoughts and emotion can stay with us while we are trying to make sense of it.
Being able to 'let go' and self-regulate are traits we often pick up early in life.
Our caregivers modelled to us how to process and respond to our emotions. If your care givers either dismissed and ignored emotions or became overwhelmed by them struggling to sooth, regulate and calm themselves, then the likelihood is that you too can struggle to sooth and move forward from how you feel.
If letting go is something you regularly struggle with the good news is you there are strategies that can be learnt at any stage of life.
It’s a bit like picking up any new skills, with a little help, practice and the right tools, you can break out of old patterns and have something new!
If you would like some support in developing emotional resilience so you have more inner peace and feel happier and calmer contact me to take advantage of my free, no obligation 30 minute session to find out how I can help you.