Challenges & Loss

As human beings and a social species, it has been said we have five social domains.

With the looming lock down for the second time this year two of these have very much been challenged for many of us at this time.

The ability to have certainty and autonomy.

The way we are living in 2020 has on several levels been stopping our ability to have certainty about the future as well as our ability to have freedom around our will and our actions. As individuals we have all sought to manage these changes in our own way the best we can with what we have available to us.

I’d like to offer a perspective which may be helpful in frame what we may feel in ourselves and what we may notice in other people’s behaviours around us.

I believe that many of us are in the process of grieving.

Grieving for the loss of the familiar as well as our certainty and autonomy. If we use the framework of the stages of grief that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first proposed in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, there may be familiar emotions or patterns that are resonating with you.

The 5 stages of grief and loss are:

-Denial
-Anger
-Bargaining
-Depression
-Acceptance

Do any of these emotions resonate with how you are feeling?

Or perhaps you may notice one or more in someone else?

It’s worth noting that when processing a loss, not everyone goes through the stages in the same order or perhaps may not experience them all. We also cope in differing ways; some of us express ourselves to those around us and externalise our experience. Others will withdraw and become internally focused.

If they do resonate with you, I invite you to give yourself the compassion you would for someone who is processing loss. To stay connected to others, to not place too high expectations on yourself, to take time to recharge and replenish and to look for the positives in each day.