The key stages of becoming unstuck

I have noticed that there is a sequence of stages for people to become unstuck and begin to move forward.

Be that an emotion in the present moment, a reoccurring thought that keeps you awake at night or to move forward from the pain of a past event or experience.

I use these stages as a framework with my clients to check-in where they are at before we start working on the outcome they want.

Acknowledgment.

Acknowledging there’s something that is keeping you stuck in a repeating cycle or from letting something go. As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

When you finally acknowledge that there is something keeping you stuck you release yourself to take the next step.

Understanding.

Once you have clarity and a sound understanding of what it is, you can feel ready to take the necessary action towards what you would rather have. That feeling of needing to hold on, to ruminate and dwell. Figuring out ‘why?!’, to make sense of it is quelled and our thinking brain can quieten.

Once we have a deeper understanding of how you got to where you are, it can help to frame the issue and create boundaries around it. Our thoughts and feelings towards the issue can also change. Draining emotions that keep us stuck such as shame guilt or anger can be lifted.

Acceptance.

Acceptance is the stage that you finally feel the weight being lifted. The burden you have been dragging around with you is put to rest. You can breath a sigh of relief and find peace in the space of acceptance.

Part of acceptance is it being accepted on all levels. In the meaning you give it from logically understanding it. To offer compassion from your heart for all involved. Including yourself! For your deeper sense of self to accept it- that it ‘feels’ right in your gut.

Once all these areas are in agreement and full acceptance is integrated then you can move in to action.

Action.

Once you reach the 4th stage you are ready to take action. Action is crucial.
You can have all the understanding, the vision of what you would like things to be like, the ideas of how to have it, the passion and desires for it all… But with our taking action we will find yourself frozen in that moment. Potentially looping back around again. And nothing changes.

Making it part of us.

Once you are taking action and the change is now part of how you think, feel and behave it takes practice and time to fully integrate it. This is the stage that some people stumble. By working with your coach you will have someone to check-in with, who will cheerlead you and celebrate your successes. Being accountable to someone and acknowledging your wins is a key part of keeping up your new way of being and not slipping into old habits.